secret feelings and hidden truths
by hoodie777
Summary: Paige and alex both have hidden feelings for eachother, but can they face them and be honest with one another? my first story, let me know if you like it and i'll continue :
1. Chapter 1

paige's pov

i finished putting the last of my makeup on and exhaled slowly. i closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to steady my nerves. _breathe paige, just breathe _i told myself. alex was on her way over, we were going out to see the new scary movie in theatres. we were the best of friends, we did everything together. but for some reason i always got butterflies when i was with her. and lately it was getting worse...my palms would get sweaty, my heart would pound and my stomach would do continuous flip flops, before i even saw her!

i kept trying to dismiss my growing feelings for her, i couldn't like girls, it was a known fact. my parents would be crushed, and my friends would hate me! i wasn't sure what to do about the situation, but i had previously decided to never tell anyone, especially alex. hoping that if i ignored my feelings long enough then they would just disappear all together.

"paige! alex is here!" i heard my mom yell from downstairs. "ok, be right down!" i shouted back. i stared in the mirror, taking one last survey of myself, and headed out of my room towards the stairs. i could hear my mom and alex chatting briefly as i made my way down. alex was wearing a jean skirt and a flattering red tank top. _damn she looks good _i thought. i could feel my heart speed up as we stared at eachother. "well are you ready to go chica?" she said cheerfully. "couldn't be more ready" i replied with a smile. "i'll see you later mom, bye" i said as i shut the door behind us.

alex drove a 99 vw bug, a cute little car that i was always jealous of. it was the one thing her mom ever helped get her. alex paid for most of the car herself, but she took pride in it and i was proud of her for it. i climbed in, taking in the sweet smell of alex, and buckled up. "u ok?" alex asked as she climbed behind the wheel. i could feel her eyes on me as she waited for me to answer. "yea sure, i'm perfectly fine, maybe a little tired but i'm ok" i said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. the look on her face told me she didn't buy it, but she dropped it and started the car. most of the ride was silent, all i could hear was the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. i wondered how it was possible for alex not to hear it.

the movie theatre was packed, we had to park way in the back and walk quite a ways to get to the building. "i can't wait to eat some popcorn, movie theatre popcorn is the best, don't you agree?" alex asked. i giggled a bit "duh! everyone knows that! i'm just hoping this movie isn't too scary, otherwise i might end up burying my head into the seat" she laughed at this, "oh come on now paige, it won't be that bad, i'll protect you" my heart skipped a beat when she said that. _i would love nothing more than that_ i thought to myself. i had to stop thinking that way. as we got up to the ticket booth i tried to push the thoughts of alex out of my head. "two for The Fear at 3 o'clock" alex said, getting out her money. "i can pay for my own hun, you don't have to do that" i protested, looking at her intently. "don't worry about it paige, really, i'm just glad you came with me" the smile on her face made my heart melt. "i'm sorry girls but we're all sold out, every show" the guy behind the counter said as he rechecked his computer. he looked genuinely sorry. "oh....um well that's alright, guess we'll have to come another day then" alex replied. the disappointment on her face matched how i felt on the inside.

we got back into her car and just sat there in silence for a few moments. "so...now what?" i asked nervously. "well umm...i'm not sure, all i know is i'm not taking you home yet, so...we can just drive around until we figure something out i guess" i laughed a little "oh ok, is that the master plan? and who says you get to decide when i go home huh?" i laughed some more and gave her a smile. "i'm the one driving aren't i? so i win, it's only fair paige." she stuck her tongue out at me and started the car. i just rolled my eyes and decided not to argue. because truth be told, i wasn't ready to go home yet.

alex's pov

i shifted the car with ease, letting my mind wander to thoughts of paige. her smile, her voice, her laugh, i just wanted so bad to kiss her. _just your friend, not your girlfriend, you can't have feelings for your best friend_ i tried to tell myself, knowing however, that it was useless. i had fallen for paige, and i didn't know how to get back up. and i wasn't even sure i wanted to. finally, she interupted my thoughts, "alex? is it hard to drive a stick shift? how did you learn?" i laughed, it was a random question. she giggled too, realizing that her question came out of nowhere. "no, once you get the hang of it it's easy...hey, do you wanna learn? i'll teach you if ya want..." i glanced over at her, she was staring out the window, a smile creeping across her face. "well i don't wanna break your car, i'd stall it to death" i chuckled, "oh hush, you'll do fine!" i told her.

i pulled into an empty parking lot and proceeded to get out of the car and walk to the passenger side. i opened paige's door but she wouldn't get out. " come on! get out, you're gonna learn how to do this!" she just laughed at me and remained in the car. "don't make me force you out of the car, cause i will do it" i said to her. "alex come on, i just asked a question, i didn't mean i wanted to learn how, and i'm not getting out of this seat." i shook my head and reached across her to undo her seatbelt. her scent filled my nostrils and i inhaled deeply. i grabbed both her hands and pulled her out of the car. i looked in her eyes, practically getting lost in them, and said "please? just do it for me? it's not like we have anything else to do anyway" i let my eyes wander, studying the features of her stunning face. my gaze stopped, only for a few seconds, on her soft lips. i would've given anything to feel them on mine.

i snapped back to reality as i realized paige had agreed and walked to the other side of the car. we both got in and i began explaining to her the art of driving a manual. "ok so put your left foot on the clutch, good, now shift it into first" paige slowly moved it into first. "good, now down to second, now up to third, i want you to feel where the gears are before you actually drive it." i watched as she went from second back to first. "that's first gear paige, go to third, here" and without thinking i placed my left hand on top of hers and began to guide it from gear to gear. i noticed her breathing picked up slightly from my touch. "and that's fifth...um...yea...so..." i lost my train of thought as i looked up at her to see her just staring at me. i swallowed hard...overpowering emotions swept through me as i gazed at her. i couldn't help myself, i began to lean towards her, and to my suprise she was leaning back towards me. our lips met with such electricity that i almost passed out right there. passion poured out of me and i completely put everything i felt for paige into the kiss. it was the most amazing feeling in the world.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Paige's pov

_Wow…I'm kissing alex…she tastes sooooo good…wait what?!? _Suddenly my mind clicked and I jerked away from her. I was speechless, totally out of words, I had no clue what to say. "I…um…wow…um…I really just…I…alex…" that's all I could manage, I was so confused and flooded with different emotions, I couldn't think straight. "paige, i…" alex began, but I cut her off. I didn't wanna hear what I was sure she was about to tell me. "I have to go." I said abruptly. I whipped the door open and climbed swiftly out of the car. "Paige!" alex yelled after me. I heard her footsteps running behind me. She grabbed my arm and turned me to face her. I couldn't look at her, it hurt to hear the pain in her voice, I didn't wanna see it spread across her face too. "Paige, please just talk to me…I'm sorry…I just couldn't help it…i…" her sentence was trailing off. "Alex, I don't wanna talk ok?!? Can't you see that? Don't you get it? This…this can't…and won't happen. It's not me ok? It's not!" I could feel the tears starting to fill up my eyes. I glanced up and saw more pain than I could've possibly imagined sprawled across alex's face. I looked back at the ground again.

We stood in silence for what seemed like centuries before I finally couldn't deal with it anymore. I turned and started walking away again. "Walking home will take you forever…I could still…give you a ride…if you want…" I turned around to look at her. I could tell it took a lot for her to say that. "No, I'm gonna…I don't know, call my mom or something…I just…I can't handle this right now…goodbye alex."

And with that I walked back towards the theatre. It was about a block away but at this point I really didn't care. I wasn't really sure if my mom was still home or not but waiting there would definitely be much easier than an awkward ride home with alex. I felt terrible, I knew I had really hurt her, that's not what I wanted to do, but I had to be honest right? That wasn't what I wanted, was it? _Omg I can't want that life…I can't want to feel this way…I can't want alex! _I screamed in my head. So many questions flooded through my mind, my heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to burst from my chest.

When I finally reached the theatre I pulled out my cell and called my house. Thankfully my mom answered and agreed to come get me. She asked what happened, so I just told her alex and I had a fight. I certainly wasn't going to offer up the truth. Tears started forming in my eyes as I stared out the window.

Alex's pov

As I watched the blonde head back towards the theatre, tears started flowing freely down my face. I couldn't hold my composure any longer. So much pain engulfed me that I felt like I was about to pass out. I didn't have the strength to run after her, to tell her I loved her, to accuse her of the obvious feelings she had for me. Her words had cut me, and it would be awhile before I healed. I climbed back into my car, replaying the events of the day in my head. More tears poured out of my eyes. I needed to go home, lock myself in my room, and lay in my bed. Maybe if I stayed there forever no one else could hurt me the way paige just had. And with that thought I started my car and left the parking lot.


	3. Chapter 3

Paige's pov

When my mom and I reached the house I headed up the stairs, intending on staying there the rest of the night. "Are you sure you're ok honey?" my mom called after me. She had asked me like ten times on the way home. "Yes I'm fine." I yelled back. When I entered my room I quickly shut the door and locked it. I just wanted to be alone. I grabbed some pajama pants out of my dresser draw and changed. I crawled in my bed and began to replay everything that happened today in my head.

I remembered the butterflies in my stomach every time I looked at alex, the way my heart skipped a beat whenever she smiled, and even the way she took my breath away when she touched my hand. Tears began to pour out of my eyes; I didn't try to hold them back for it was impossible. So much sadness engulfed me. I cried more as I remembered the pain in Alex's eyes as I told her I couldn't be with her. This was not the way I was supposed to feel, it wasn't right…was it? _Why is it that that kiss with Alex had more passion and electricity then any of my other kisses? Why do I feel so empty and alone when she's not with me? Why is it that I love everything about her? Her smell, her smile, her laugh, even her sarcasm?!? Ughhh what's wrong with me? Am I in love with Alex? Noooooo, I can't be! But how else can I explain the way I feel about her? _

My mind kept running in circles like this for over an hour. I was almost asleep when I heard some creaking up the stairs. _Oh no, it's probably mom checking up on me_ I thought to myself as I waited for her to open my door. The knob moved a little but she didn't come in. _oh yea, it's locked_ "hang on a sec!" I yelled as I drug myself out of bed and walked to the door. I undid the lock and yanked open the door, "mom, really I'm fi…" I stopped dead in my sentence when I realized I was face to face with Alex.

"I know you don't want to talk so I'll make this brief, can I come in for just a sec? Please?" I was shocked, and for a second I couldn't even make a word come out of my mouth. Finally when I got some sense, I managed to get out "what? Ummm how…how did you even…get in?" I studied her face, her eyes were all red and puffy, she'd obviously been crying as much as I had, if not more. "Your mom let me in." with a sigh I let go of the door and walked back to my bed and climbed in. I shivered. I wasn't sure if it was because I was cold or because Alex was in the same room. I heard the door click shut behind me and felt her sit on the bed next to me. I didn't turn to look at her, I just couldn't.

"Paige…" she began, my heart started to pound, I didn't want to have this conversation. "Paige…I just…I'm sorry about earlier, really I am…I never meant to…I just couldn't help it…" _where is she going with this? Oh please don't say it… _my mind raced and a tear escaped my eye. "Paige, I think…wow this is hard…I have to be honest…you may not like it but…I…Paige I think I love you." _Oh my god she said it…now what?!? What the hell do I say to that?!? _I lay still for a moment, unsure as to what I should do or say. "look, I don't expect anything from this, and if you tell me you don't feel the same way then I'll leave and you'll never have to worry about this again. But I have to know…because it's just too hard to just be your friend. I hope you can understand that…and well Paige? Will you just turn and look at me please?" I sighed heavily. I didn't want to look at her, my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. I rolled over to stare at her beautiful face. I loved her eyes, the way they sparkled. "Say something." She whispered. I couldn't, I was mesmerized by her.

I knew right then that I was indeed in love with this girl. But I wasn't sure I had the guts to admit it. Another tear fell from my eye. Alex brought her finger up slowly and wiped it away. She ran her finger down my cheek and over the top of my lips. My breathing hitched, I wanted to kiss her, so bad it took all I could to restrain myself. Her finger traveled over my chin and down my neck. I couldn't stand it any longer; I threw my arms around her neck and kissed her. _This is what I want, she is what I want, and she's always been the one I wanted._ I finally admitted to myself as the kiss deepened. For the first time I felt like I was in heaven, and I wanted to stay there as long as possible.


End file.
